The way I work in one on one counseling The introduction session is the first session where we get to know each other better. I will introduce the Counseling Agreement and my way of working, while you will have the opportunity to describe what brought you to counseling. After the initial session, the following 5 sessions are aimed to get to know you better. In this session you will also see if my way of working and in general counseling is a way to go for you. After this, we meet regularly once per week. Having two or more sessions per week is possible upon your request.
A little bit more about Online Counseling In general, online counseling is suitable for many people. If you have doubts about if it is the right way for your problem, we can determine that in the Introduction meeting. You can read about pros and cons of online counseling and also for who online counseling is for in the tables below.
PROS AND CONS OF ONLINE COUNSELING
Available for all who have internet (accessible). Especially good for remote locations where qualified professional help is unavailable or limited.
No face-to face contact, which some people find important.
You can have session in any location, no matter in which country you are. MORE HERE
Counselor can miss some non-verbal communication signals.
No cost and time spend on transportation.
Possible technical issues (most therapist have agreement what to do in that case).
Some people feel more comfortable working with a therapist who is not from the same town as they.
It is a relatively new and growing area with limited scientific research.
You don’t have to miss your session if you are sick.
FOR WHOM IS ONLINE COUNSELING SUITABLE?
Anxiety (any type-panic disorder, general anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, social anxiety) MORE HERE
People with severe mental disorder (psychosis, schizophrenia)
Severe depression with serious suicidal tendencies
Problems in relationships
People who are currently addicted
Obsessive compulsive disorder
If at any time you feel uncomfortable working through Skype, I would encourage you to talk to your therapist about that. You may find that Skype counseling is not for you, which is alright as well. There are many different counseling options that your current counselor can help you find.
Birth trauma refers to a distressing emotional or physical experience that can occur during childbirth. It is important to note that birth trauma extends beyond the events that occurred during labor and delivery. It also encompasses the feelings and emotions experienced by the mother afterward. Approximately one third of women go through such trauma. It is crucial to recognize that the perception of trauma is subjective and should be defined by the woman who has experienced it.
The Roots of…
Self-gaslighting is a phenomenon in which individuals manipulate their own thoughts and feelings, causing them to doubt their own perception of reality. This internal process leads to a relentless questioning of one's thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and intuition, often resulting in self-doubt and self-criticism. Those who engage in self-gaslighting may heavily rely on external validation or feedback from others to gauge their worth and make decisions. It is important to distinguish…
I prepared this online workshop for pregnant soon to be moms, that want to emotionally prepare for upcoming childbirth in the safety of their own home. In my own birth preparation, I used a lot of different therapeutic tools that I knew from my own work and which I am also sharing in this workshop.
HOW IT WORKS?
I have written 14 assignments for you, which you will receive periodically on your email over the course of 41 days. In addition to the first and last email, you will receive…
Reading about grief turned out to be the healing practice that helped me with my own sudden loss of my mum. I want to share with my readers the books that find a place on my nightstand. I read everything, from personal experiences, science and spiritual believes around dying and death. Books don't reflect my personal believes but I did include in this articles paragraphs that resonated with me.
Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence…
Author: Ania Seretny
When we think of our anger and aggression, the approach often relies on fixing these states, quietening them down, or getting rid of them completely. This article will explore if these strategies are possible, recap what anger and aggression are, and relate fundamentals of Aggression Replacement Training.
What is anger and aggression?Anger is the adaptive emotion that plays into the vast pallet of our feelings. We need anger as a part of our reactive toolbox. It is…
In this article I want to touch a psychology effect of wealth. Scientists found that children from homes with an annual income of more than £100,000 were suffering anxiety, depression and somatic symptoms twice as often in comparison to their peers. Also children from multi-generational wealth are more at risk for criminal behavior, eating disorders, and addictive disorders. It is important to emphasize that it is not the wealth per se causing the higher risk of mental disorder development but…
Family system good or bad influences our personality, the way we see the world and feel about ourselves. Unfortunately being raised by the narcissist parent is a tough spot to be in. You are probably dragging with yourself a very negative perception of you which influences a lot of areas in your life. In this article we will take a look on the hardships that comes from being raised by the Narcissist.
Pain from upbringing
Having to accept that your parent doesn’t love you like other parents…
Narcissism runs on a spectrum, from healthy narcissism to malignant narcissism, with a lot of gray in between. Narcissistic people suffer tremendously from their childhood trauma and this pain is too much for them to carry, so they pretend it’s not there or they keep lashing out on other people to ease their own pain. Narcissism doesn’t have to be absolute. It can show up in little ways and often under the guise of doing “what’s best” for your children. It tends to play out…
There is a lot written about anxiety and its symptoms. In my work, I notice few more indicators or symptoms that occurred often together with the anxiety. I decided to list them below. It doesn't mean that you will have all the symptoms but it can help knowing that it's not so uncommon to experience the following:
»I will die, go crazy or have heart attack« this is an obsessive thought that is common with anxiety. With time you will realize that nothing serious will happen while having…
In this article I want to write what I experienced through my own personal story and as well through the stories of my clients. The loss of trust in your own body. I want to point out two ways that I notice this can happen. The first one is the loss of trust after psychological disorder, mainly anxiety, because anxiety usually hits our body first. Meaning, we all the sudden feel like we are going to die. I believe all individuals with panic attacks were at some point 100% convinced that there…
Pregnancy is a time when our body and minds go through changes. Most of this changes are out of our control-meaning our stomach and breasts are growing, our hormonal levels are changing and our body will push the baby out whether we like it or not. Body memory can be awaken when a woman’s body starts to change during pregnancy. Transformation to parenthood can evoke feelings and memories that we weren’t ready to deal with in the past or even memories that we didn’t realize that we have.…
In this article (Part IV) I want to take a deeper look at some of the research that was done regarding relationship between Borderline parent and children in comparison to mothers that don’t suffer from BPD.
Studies have found that interactions between mothers with BPD and their baby are characterized by insensitivity, high levels of intrusion, and low levels of positive response to infant distress. Mothers with BPD smile less, touch and imitate their infants less, and play fewer…
Experts wonders whether there are actually distinct types of borderline personalities. The minds are divided but experts still try to distinguish between the different types of BPD in academic literature as well as in popular one. In Part III we will take a look at both of them. Please note that this list of types serves as a guidelines and person who suffers from BPD can have a mix of everything.
Dr. Christine Lawson in a book Understanding the Borderline Mother introduces 4…
In the title of this article I used the word “damage”. This word is a good description of how children that grew up in Borderline Families feel inside - damaged. Let’s go into details, what kind of emotions, feelings and actions are hidden behind this word. Many people in counseling who were raised by a borderline parent end up struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, issues with trust and intimacy and difficulties being vulnerable with others.
Children of BPD parents…
In this series of articles I won’t talk about BPD but I will focus on the dynamic that is created when you are raised by someone who is struggling with BPD. Until now there was a belief that more women than man suffer from BPD. That’s why I will talk about mothers in this articles. But lately there have been studies that have shown misdiagnosis in male population. It is now believed that percentage between man and women with BPD is close to equal.
From the birth on, the connection between…
Definition of Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
The term narcissism was first used in relation to human psychology by Sigmund Freud in his essay "On Narcissism" after the figure of Narcissus in Greek mythology (Golomb 2003: 18).
The Myth: One day Narcissus was walking in the woods when Echo (mountain nymph) saw him, fell deeply in love, and followed him. Narcissus sensed he was being followed and shouted "Who's there?". Echo repeated "Who's there?" She eventually revealed her identity…
There is not a lot written on how beavered children form romantic relationships as adults. In the final section of the article we will take a look at behaviors in relationships that can occur due to the loss of a parent during childhood. When a child looses his/her parent the connection between love and loss is no longer separated. “Deep down I believed that all man will eventually leave me.” was wrote by forum user who lost her dad. Research showed that many bereaved children are more…
In the second article I will explore what an effect can the death of a parent have on our emotional and mental health. Consequences can occur shortly after the death or later in life. It is important to know that psychological effects of a parent's death can occur long after feelings of grief are behind us and we seem to have adjusted to our lives. Not everything is due to this one event but we can’t neglect the researches that show higher risk factor of developing disorders associated with…
In this article we will touch very deep loss-the loss of a parent. It is hard to imagine how deep it cuts if you haven’t experienced it on your own skin. The best comparison I found was a comparison with a mountain climbing. Imagine that it is your first serious climb and you are accompanied by the professional climber. You rely on him with everything. He will show you the way, he will make sure that the way is safe, that you stay hydrated. In the middle of the mountain, your company dies.…
In the spirit of my article Postpartum care and Eastern concept of “doing the month” in this article I am listing different types of care/help you can turn to during the postpartum period.
Partner: Talk to him. Let him know what you need from him and were he needs to take over after the baby is born.
Friends and family: If possible ask your family or friends to help you with cooking, cleaning and taking care of your older kids. Sometimes family can stress us out. It is important to…
After the baby comes, attention shifts from you to your baby. In most cases even mom can only focus of taking care of the baby, but who is now focusing on her? It is very important that after birth you are your own number one advocate and you take good care of yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission, that is your right. Taking great care after birth helps prevent postpartum depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. Furthermore, it helps your body to heal fully.
This is an article for future moms who struggle with their pregnancy. I wanted to open up about a topic that is both close to my heart, and at the same time seems to be a taboo for pregnant women to talk openly about it. Although I don’t know about your experience, but when I was going through mine, many people “allowed” just one experience of pregnancy – the experience of joy. Every time I went off this script, I could see it in their faces - worry. Looking at me with the thought in…
In my office I meet a lot of wonderful people. They often come to me because they are in a destructive relationship they aren’t able to get out of. Although they know pretty well that the relationship is not good for them. The combination of their nonfunctional behavior with partner’s destructive patterns create toxic codependent relationship.
Codependency doesn’t only happen in a romantic relationship. It can occur in any type of a relationship, including family, work, friendship,…
*the article is based on my private practice observations
Anxiety is often a reason why people knock on my door. It is also the subject that I am most drawn to. That’s why I would like to write a short article based on my work experiences about dealing with anxiety.
In short, I approached anxiety in two levels:
Dealing with symptoms: In the Internet era, people educate themselves about panic attacks and how to ease symptoms. Consequently this level is the most accessible for…
In this article I will summarized the work of Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. book, The Highly Sensitive Person. In her psychotherapy practice she worked with HSP for decays and come to an interesting conclusions.
In connection to anxiety: HSP often treats his high arousal as anxiety. He got false messages form the environment that unpleasantness he is experiencing (due to high arousal) is actually fear. Consequently when they get aroused (annoyed, tired…) that automatically triggers fear.
People working in busy environment or dynamic cities like London, New York, Singapore, Zurich, Frankfurt, where is no shortage of qualified therapists, often choose online therapy due to its convenience and flexibility. The comfort of having the therapy in your office and not being forced to travel to therapist office often weigh towards online psychotherapy.
Skype therapy has also turned out to be a great option for people whose part of their job is to travel. Regular therapy sessions are…
Adjustment to a new environment
Cultural shock is a part of experience when you move abroad. Moving can be a stressful. You can never really prepare for the changes that you are going to face. Even if you are moving to a similar cultural background there will be some bumps along the road. If you are new to the language, this can only deepen the feelings of loneliness, isolation and stress.
People forced to move when their spouse is transferred to a foreign country, with no job and limited…
Online psychotherapy is suitable for people who due to temporary or permanent reasons can’t go out of their (safe) environment.
In this category I am including temporary situations that require people to stay at home. Here we can talk about different kind of physical injuries that needs longer period of time to heal as well as risk pregnancies and Postpartum (postnatal) depression and/or anxiety and/or obsessive compulsive disorder. In the last case, due to a newborn…
Types of anxiety
Panic attack feels like sudden attacks of terror which normally peaks within 10 minutes, but some symptoms may linger much longer. Attack can occur at stressful times or it isn’t connected to any particular situation. Many people have just one panic attack. In this case we can’t talk about panic disorder.
Common symptoms: pounding heart, sweating, weakness, faintness, dizziness, flush or feel chilled, tingle or numb hands, nausea, chest…
With a new baby in the house some worries are expected. Especially if it is our first born. But what if worries are persistent and with little base ground? Probably you already heart about postpartum depression, but what about postpartum anxiety? According to Germany University of Heidelberg, 11% of mothers developed postpartum anxiety, while 6% developed postpartum depression. Overall this affects 1 out of every 7 women. Unfortunately, postpartum anxiety and depression often occurs together.…
I offer couples counseling in English or Slovenian language. For counseling you can come to my office in Berlin, Germany or we can do it online. Couples counseling lasts 12 sessions. After that we can always agree to do another cycle of 12 sessions.
To apply for Couples counseling you can contact me through this application HERE.
Please note that unfortunately I don’t offer coverage through your health insurance (“Versicherung”) for counseling sessions.
How I work with couples? In my couples work I use Emotional focused therapy and the Gottman method. Both methods are well researched and based on empirical evidences. Gottman’s research has shown that in every couple’s relationship there are some topics that we are always fighting about. How many times have you said or heard: “Why do I have to tell you this again? We have already discussed this so many times”? Usually we use one of the following strategies to fight about our conflicts according to Emotional focus therapy (EFT):
Attack – Attack (“Why am I the only one who takes care of the finances?” – “The only one? Really, I never saw the laziest person. You sure are not taking care of anything!”)
Attack – Withdraw (“Why am I the only one who takes care of the finances?” – Goes quiet, doesn’t respond, move to the other room)
Withdraw – Withdraw (nobody feels like raising disagreement is worth it)
In my couple’s therapy we will look at this pattern and explore what is going on behind it. If we don’t know what our unmet needs are, we often just react to a hurtful situation without thinking, rather than turning inside, checking in and figuring out what the pain is about. The goal of therapy is being able to understand your and your partner’s pain, being able to hear each other and feeling understood by your partner by also learning a new way to communicate with one another.
Please note that when the infidelity is a reason why you choose to come to me, we need to do one additional step first. Infidelity is a very painful betray and complete lost of trust in relationship. During counseling we will first look at all the feelings and thoughts that came with one of the partners having an affair. Once all of us will have a feeling that we have talked things through, we will move towards improving communication and creating a better foundation in your relationship. Due to complexity counseling can last more than 12 sessions.
Also, you are more than welcome to come in case you are already divorced and want to improve your communication, co-parenting, or you feel the need to get closure in your relationship in order to move on.
I notice couples are frequently coming to counseling late in their relationship struggles. In case you have recognized that it is hard to “get to the bottom of the problems” and you are trying to push you feelings aside, it is a good time to come to therapy. Save
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